Ask anyone, I don’t lose my cool easily. However, when it comes to auto-rickshaw drivers, I’m prepared to lose my rag every time. In fact, I don’t just lose my rag, I hide it on purpose. You see, I don’t like being followed – in fact, who does? Having been stalked by one of the little shits for most of the afternoon, I was not well-disposed to rickshaw drivers anyway.
So, when exiting
Thoughts began running through my head – this could be an opportunity to show off the ninja skills that I had subconsciously acquired by watching Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (OK, I only watched about 15 minutes, but it’s enough isn’t it?). I could take one out with a swift judo chop and then drop kick another, landing behind the third and bringing him down face-first to the ground. Of course, they would then approach me one after the other (never all at the same time), and I would dismiss them with casual ease before taking on the big cheese – the king of auto-rickshaw drivers. Everyone else would form a circle as we did battle, and of course, I would win and take flight as he lay there bleeding from the horrible wounds I inflicted upon him.
Actually, I just wanted to murder them as quickly as possible. I screamed at them to “f--- off and f--- off now” and have to thank Shanaz for dragging me out of there before the entire auto-rickshaw drivers’ union decided to club together and bash the whiter than white whitey. We got an over-priced taxi back to Dwarka and slept until midday.